A love poem.
I'm supposed to write
A love poem?
I'm not in love...
What is love?
Who says it has to be
Cards,
Flowers,
Date nights.
That's all
Bullshit.
Fake.
Putting off
The inevitable:
Pain.
Then I think,
I do have love.
I have you,
My best friend.
You give me hope
As I dance
On the edge
Of despair.
You make me laugh
Until the concept of
Breathing
Is unthinkable.
You're brutally honest.
You'll tell me,
"Yes,
That does, in fact,
Make you look pale.
Put on the red shirt,
And shut up."
You're the only person
Who can catch me
Before I fall
To pieces.
I love you Chris.
For being my
Rock.
Motivation.
Voice of reason.
Best friend.
And so much more.
I love that you wrote a love poem about your best friend! Very clever and I love the thought. When this was read in class we put the emphasis on bullshit. I loved that. Could you put it in bold? Or have it on its own line?
ReplyDeleteWhen you are talking about the hope your friend gives you you talk about how it makes you dance. I love the use of imagery that his hope makes you dance but I would look at the lining of the next two lines. I would place on the edge of despair on one line. I would also look at making this stanza three different ones. One ending at My best friend. One ending after despair. I think this makes three points that should be separated.
The last correction I can see is that the quote you use shouldn't be separated as much. I think line separation should be important thoughts not just focused on the length.
Overall I think this was a great poem. Your use of examples and telling the reader why you love Chris gave the reader a true feeling of understanding to why this person was important to you.
I love you poems, they are all done very well and the picture and way you bring the reader in is always well done. Good Job!
-Tori