I'm laying across my bed, laughing without a care.
He sits close, laughs along with me, I'm happy that he's here.
The radio's on, and we just talk, I like the way he makes me feel.
Then a song comes on the radio, and it's as if all the world is still.
It's that one particular song, that you swore was written just for us.
And I can hear you singing it in my ear as we dance in the drive at dusk.
I listen to the words, and let the melody fill my head.
All of a sudden I'm sitting in your truck, no longer on my bed.
It's summer and it's hot, I'm wearing shorts and the windows are down.
My feet are resting on the dashboard as we drive slowly through town.
I look over and you're talking, wearing sunglasses and a smile.
I can hear your voice so clear, and I drink it in for a while.
I blink again and we're at your house, 2 a.m., in the tv room.
We're both asleep, I'm in your arms, neither of us moves.
I'm aware of you there, I can feel your breath, my hand rests on your chest.
I want to stay in this moment forever, then I remember that you've left.
Suddenly I'm back in my room, the radio still playing our song.
You said the lyrics were written just for us, but I now see you were wrong.
When you first left me I was angry, and deep down so very hurt.
Everything about you was a lie, I felt nothing was what I was worth.
But I soon came to my senses, saw I couldn't love something that was never true.
So I held my head high, the pains have faded, I no longer need you.
I look at him as the song ends, and he smiles a smile so sweet.
I know I'm just fine without you, you're now just a fond memory to me.
So I hope you live your life well, and think of me with a smile.
Know that I loved you true, even if only for a little while.
I really do love this poem! I think that is is well-written and definitely clear. I think that everyone, especially in today's society, can relate to this story even if only in some small way. I love reading poetry that triggers some memory in my own life and forces me to return to certain moments that I may have forgotten. I think that this poem definitely accomplishes that, as it seems to force the reader to reflect on his own life. Also, the fact that you never actually list the name of the song further allows the reader to think of his own song that might have defined a particular moment or day or even year in his life.
ReplyDeleteI love the transitions used in this poem: "I blink again", "suddenly I'm back in my room", "all of a sudden I'm sitting in your truck". They help make it clear that it is a memory, unforced and sudden. Sometimes I find myself thinking about one thing and the next thing I know, I am thinking about something else. I wonder how exactly my thought process led me to such different topics. They are often clear but quick memories before I realize my own thoughts. Your poem reminds me of those times, when I am simply just allowing my mind to wander.
My only suggestion would be to remove some smaller words such as "and" and "but" and perhaps remove one of the times that you mentioned the radio was on. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading it and discussing it in class! It is really great!